13 Fool Proof Steps for the Perfect Potted Plant.

  1. Locate your nearest soil patch or alternatively, buy some. 
  2. Locate your nearest plant pot. Doesn’t have to belong to you, just your nearest.
  3. Transfer soil to pot, don’t worry if you spill any. You’re only allowing it to escape back to its resting place.
  4. This is the hard bit.
  5. Hunt for seeds. Do not allow them to hunt you.
  6. Or alternatively, buy some.
  7. Or steal some.
  8. Add them to your soil.
  9. Ensure they are completely covered, you don’t want anyone knowing that you stole seeds. You monster.
  10. Water soil.
  11. Watch the soil until you see growth. 
  12. Don’t look away or you’ll have to repeat septs 1-11.
  13. Repeat steps 1-11. You looked away to read this final step. 

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